so it's on. just more solo.

it's here. the final week of classes. you know what this means? procrastination? um, yes. or at least, that's what i'm doing at this particular moment. after a cup of wawa coffee and my new martina mcbride cds playing, i'm pretty much ready to finish this counseling final TONIGHT. but really, i wanted to give you all an update on plans and such. because there's actually a lot to update on. (hooray!)

so YESTERDAY i received an email from pastor cary (he was leading up the SEND english camp team). the email reads: "For several months we have been requesting prayer for the formation of a team I was to lead to minister in an English camp in Poland this August. We think you have sensed a lot of uncertainties. These uncertainties and the lack of a full team have caused us to decide we should not pursue this further." i replied to this email asking if this meant that were were not going to poland at all. i received an email back about an hour later saying that the CAMP wasn't cancelled, but that SEND was not sending their team over. which means that i am going to the camp, but i am not meeting up with pastor cary and evelyn when i get there. but let me just tell you that during that hour before i heard back from pastor cary, i was so shaken that i might not be going to poland this summer. i had no idea what to even begin thinking.

little bit of background: lately i've been worried about this trip. i feel as though i'm the one doing all of the pushing and not leaving it in God's hands. sure, i pray about things and decisions about the trip, but not as much as i feel i should. i know what i need to do next and i take it a step at a time. i figured that if God didn't want me to go, He'd stop me somewhere along the way. moral of the story: through this whole email ordeal, i realized that this isn't me. this is completely God. He can indeed take away this trip at any given time. if He wants me to go, i'll go. if He wants me to stay here, I will. HE IS SOVEREIGN.

on another note, i was just thinking about how much fun our chorale had with the opole college students (yes, liz - you know what i mean) and how much fun i am going to have with these students at the camp. i am so excited to connect with them and be able to talk about life and learn more about their lives and beliefs and world while being able to share mine.

and let me just tell you of my love for adventure. first of all, let's just say that this summer belongs completely to the Lord. plans have changed so many times and things have been happening right and left that i just quit trying to follow them and control them. i'm just along for the ride here. and as liz said, "this has been a wild ride, but if you can hold on to your saddle, i think the horse will get you there in one piece. " so back to my topic of adventure. complete culture shock. traveling the polish train system. being a cultural minority. living life with the "take it as it comes" attitude. being completely flexible. needing to be completely flexible. (plus, no papers to write.) being surrounded by a completely different language. trying to communicate. I AM SO EXCITED.

please continue to pray for:
- finances (45% there)
- that i finish this semester. well. sleep included.
- that amtrak/mastercard lets me redeem my points for a free continental flight to michigan.
- jerry and marek as they plan for the english camp

thank you all so much for reading and for praying.
HAPPY SPRING!

three months!

and so the countdown begins. approximitely three months from today, i will be leaving for poland. according to my recent calculations, i have 40% of the money i need. i was talking with a friend today who shared with me that when he went to athens, most of his money didn't come in until the week before he left! God WILL provide and i know that i will be ALL THE MORE thankful for it because i went through this time when i was not sure what would happen.

that's kind of my theme for the summer: not really know what is happening. i have a general idea - i'm working, going to weddings, and going to poland. but how it all works out, i'm not sure. i KNOW that i will be working in may and i will be staying at the school and miriam's wedding is the 26th (yaaaay!). this whole experience is really showing me what it means to trust God. i'm not sure where i will live for two weeks in july. i'm not sure when i'll be going home in june. i'm not sure if/when my money will come in for poland...but GOD is sure and HE knows what is going on. i just have to trust in that.

this verse has really been encouraging me lately:
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and turn away from evil. "
Proverbs 3:5-7

happy easter! =)