reunion.

today was the wrocław english camp reunion.
i so deeply wish i could be there!

knowing that they were gathering today makes me miss them even more. the group is going to put together a book for jagoda's parents of pictures and letters. i'm going to send rebecca a letter of mine to add into the book.

yesterday i gave blood. it's something i have always been afraid to do, but i did it with jagoda in mind. maybe my blood can be used to help someone like her.

now, my heart is very heavy. i cried for about a half hour today. a good friend told me that sometimes moments of grief come when you least expect it. i was driving out to panera bread while listening to the radio. the song that came on talked about two men fighting at war and only one came home. the one who returned lived with the question, "why wasn't it me?" that got me thinking more about jagoda. why wasn't it me? she wasn't even driving. i drive almost every day. why wasn't it me? i found myself crying out to God, "why did You take her?" i didn't want an answer. i don't want an answer. i don't need an answer. "why did You take her?" i know it has purpose. i know God is good. but i also feel anger and disappointment. "why did You take her?" that's part of grief.